Tuesday, November 25, 2014

What's a Parent to Do?

So what is a parent to do? If asking, scolding, yelling and punishing don’t work, you need to try another tactic. Try praising. Change how you interact with her. If most of your interactions with her are about things you are unhappy with, she will soon try to avoid you altogether. Anyone who is at all smart will avoid someone who is always unhappy with them ... Let her know when you are happy with what she has done. You can let her know you are pleased by giving her a high five, a smile or a hug. Let her see your enthusiasm with what she has done and be specific. It helps to say, “Great job putting your dishes into the dishwasher!” is better and works better than just saying, “Great job!” Don’t encourage her to be disobedient by giving it a lot of attention. If you focus on defiance, it actually may increase the very behavior you don’t like. Try actually walking away from her behavior when it is annoying. Even walking away sends her the message that her annoying behavior doesn’t work ... Another way to help change your child’s behavior is to try a reward system and make a game of doing what you ask her to do. Give a point each time she does what you ask her to do right away. If she doesn’t do it, you can say that you see she isn’t ready but you will try again later. If she then turns around after you have said that and does what you asked, praise her but don’t give her a point. You want to get her to do what you ask right away without complaining about it. more

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